Hezekiah Calvin, letter to Eleazar Wheelock, 1768 March
March 1768[1768-03]
Call Number768240.1
[note (type: abstract): Calvin confesses to a troubled mind and to regret at having considered marrying at too young an age. He asks permission to go home.][note (type: handwriting): Formal handwriting is clear and legible.][note (type: paper): Single, medium-sized sheet is in good condition, with light-to-moderate staining, creasing and wear.][note (type: ink): Dark-brown. The nib of the pen appears to change midway through one recto.][note (type: noteworthy): On one verso, an unknown hand that may or may not be Calvin's has started and abandoned an address.][note (type: signature): The signature is abbreviated.]
Persistent Identifier
[Opener]
These Lines I write in order to inform you under
my [undsteadyneſs | unsteadiness]undsteadyneſsunsteadiness of Mind, what it is, that so much besets me
in [thoſe | those]thoſethose most horrid Crimes of lately, is ([1st | 1st]1st1st) [becauſe | because]becauſebecause I have
[left] thoughtthought myself past hopes of [forgiveneſs | forgiveness]forgiveneſsforgiveness from God, [& | and]&and that I could not
make myself any better after it. [& | and]&and that my Days were but
few, [& | and]&and that [thoſe | those]thoſethose few I intended to spend to serve Satan;
[& | and]&and to take what [pleaſure | pleasure]pleaſurepleasure I could here on Earth, while I [tar‐
ryed | tar
ried]tar‐
ryedtar
ried here in the Woreld, such were my wicked thoughts.
[left] [2dly | 2dly]2dly2dly[2dly | 2dly]2dly2dly. My Mind has been [uneaſy | uneasy]uneaſyuneasy, but being some bashful I had it not
in my heart to tell, but thought in myself to break [a way | away]a wayaway
privately, [& | and]&and yet I cant tell now without blushing, but think‐
ing it my Duty, it constrains me to break forth in this
manner, Wretched now that I am, that ever I thought of
a Conjugal state when I was, [& | and]&and am yet Young for that state
which has Continually been in my Breast since the [Dor | Doctor]DorDoctor
encouraged me in it,(I [do'nt | don't]do'ntdon't mean to reflect on the [Docr | Doctor]DocrDoctor)
but on myself, being so foolish as to entertain such a
thought in my Breast, then being so Young. I must
own that, that [above] itit was a Strong Motive in my misbehaving
at Fort Hunter[place0078.ocp] among the Mohawks[org0062.ocp]; nothing was in
my thoughts but being [Mar–d | married]Mar–dmarried, [& | and]&and My thoughts being
captivated with this, has been a strong Motive to get
me into [intemperace | intemperance]intemperaceintemperance, thinking I should be turned
away from the School[org0098.ocp], [& | and]&and so it was from one Crime
to another hoping the same, but what a sordid
thoughts are [theſe | these]theſethese attempting such an Action
as this without the [Doc.rs | Doctor's]Doc.rsDoctor's knowledge [&c | etc.]&cetc.
my [undsteadyneſs | unsteadiness]undsteadyneſsunsteadiness of Mind, what it is, that so much besets me
in [thoſe | those]thoſethose most horrid Crimes of lately, is ([1st | 1st]1st1st) [becauſe | because]becauſebecause I have
[left] thoughtthought myself past hopes of [forgiveneſs | forgiveness]forgiveneſsforgiveness from God, [& | and]&and that I could not
make myself any better after it. [& | and]&and that my Days were but
few, [& | and]&and that [thoſe | those]thoſethose few I intended to spend to serve Satan;
[& | and]&and to take what [pleaſure | pleasure]pleaſurepleasure I could here on Earth, while I [tar‐
ryed | tar
ried]tar‐
ryedtar
ried here in the Wor
[left] [2dly | 2dly]2dly2dly[2dly | 2dly]2dly2dly. My Mind has been [uneaſy | uneasy]uneaſyuneasy, but being some bashful I had it not
in my heart to tell, but thought in myself to break [a way | away]a wayaway
privately, [& | and]&and yet I cant tell now without blushing, but think‐
ing it my Duty, it constrains me to break forth in this
manner, Wretched now that I am, that ever I thought of
a Conjugal state when I was, [& | and]&and am yet Young for that state
which has Continually been in my Breast since the [Dor | Doctor]DorDoctor
encouraged me in it,(I [do'nt | don't]do'ntdon't mean to reflect on the [Docr | Doctor]DocrDoctor)
but on myself, being so foolish as to entertain such a
thought in my Breast, then being so Young. I must
own that, that [above] itit was a Strong Motive in my misbehaving
at Fort Hunter[place0078.ocp] among the Mohawks[org0062.ocp]; nothing was in
my thoughts but being [Mar–d | married]Mar–dmarried, [& | and]&and My thoughts being
captivated with this, has been a strong Motive to get
me into [intemperace | intemperance]intemperaceintemperance, thinking I should be turned
away from the School[org0098.ocp], [& | and]&and so it was from one Crime
to another hoping the same, but what a sordid
thoughts are [theſe | these]theſethese attempting such an Action
as this without the [Doc.rs | Doctor's]Doc.rsDoctor's knowledge [&c | etc.]&cetc.
There is something that makes me want to go home,
what, I cant tell, Home is in my Mind all the time
I want to go Home soon [& | and]&and see my Relations, [& | and]&and it seems
to me to Tarry home a while or all the Time, [& | and]&and let me see
if that I am able to support myself, I have [tarryed | tarried]tarryedtarried upon
Charity long enough, when I have had no more Gratitude
to my Benefactors than I have had done, but all prove
to the Contrary, instead of being grateful, I am as ungrate‐
ful as a Beast, which lays near to my Mind I had rather
go home [& | and]&and be [turn'd | turned]turn'dturned out of the School which I have
thought has been my Portion for some time I am
[uneaſy | uneasy]uneaſyuneasy while I am here [& | and]&and think upon home, if
the [Doc.r | Doctor]Doc.rDoctor is [pleaſ'd | pleased]pleaſ'dpleased to give me liberty to I will go, but
with much shame [& | and]&and Contempt of myself, [&c | etc.]&cetc.
what, I cant tell, Home is in my Mind all the time
I want to go Home soon [& | and]&and see my Relations, [& | and]&and it seems
to me to Tarry home a while or all the Time, [& | and]&and let me see
if that I am able to support myself, I have [tarryed | tarried]tarryedtarried upon
Charity long enough, when I have had no more Gratitude
to my Benefactors than I have had done, but all prove
to the Contrary, instead of being grateful, I am as ungrate‐
ful as a Beast, which lays near to my Mind I had rather
go home [& | and]&and be [turn'd | turned]turn'dturned out of the School which I have
thought has been my Portion for some time I am
[uneaſy | uneasy]uneaſyuneasy while I am here [& | and]&and think upon home, if
the [Doc.r | Doctor]Doc.rDoctor is [pleaſ'd | pleased]pleaſ'dpleased to give me liberty to I will go, but
with much shame [& | and]&and Contempt of myself, [&c | etc.]&cetc.
[Closer]
I remain Your Undutiful
[& | and]&and Ungrateful Servant [H | Hezekiah]HHezekiah Calvin[pers0008.ocp]
[Trailer]
[bottom] From [Hez: | Hezekiah]Hez:Hezekiah Calvin[pers0008.ocp]
March 1768[1768-03]
From [Hez: | Hezekiah]Hez:Hezekiah Calvin[pers0008.ocp]March 1768[1768-03]
March 1768[1768-03]
For the Reverend
[Mr | Mr.]MrMr. [Eleazer | Eleazar]EleazerEleazar Wheelock D. D.[pers0036.ocp]
Lebanon[place0122.ocp]
[right] TT
[right] To—To—
[right] The ReverendThe Reverend
[Mr | Mr.]MrMr. [Eleazer | Eleazar]EleazerEleazar Wheelock D. D.[pers0036.ocp]
Lebanon[place0122.ocp]
[right] TT
[right] To—To—
[right] The ReverendThe Reverend
Document Summary
People identified in this document:
id | Text in document | Role in header | Authorized Name |
---|---|---|---|
pers0008.ocp | H Hezekiah Calvin | writer | Calvin, Hezekiah |
pers0008.ocp | Hez: Hezekiah Calvin | writer | Calvin, Hezekiah |
pers0036.ocp | M r Mr. Eleazer Eleazar Wheelock D. D. | recipient | Wheelock, Eleazar |
Places identified in this document:
id | Text in document | Authorized Name |
---|---|---|
place0122.ocp | Lebanon | Lebanon |
place0078.ocp | Fort Hunter | Fort Hunter |
Organizations identified in this document:
id | Text in document | Authorized Name |
---|---|---|
org0062.ocp | Mohawks | Mohawk Nation |
org0098.ocp | the School | Moor’s Indian Charity School |
Dates identified in this document:
Standard Form | Text |
---|---|
1768-03 | March AD. 1768 |
1768-03 | March 1768 |
Regularized text:
Type | Original | Regularized |
---|---|---|
variation | Revend | Reverend |
variation | undsteadyneſs | unsteadiness |
modernization | thoſe | those |
modernization | 1st | 1st |
modernization | becauſe | because |
modernization | forgiveneſs | forgiveness |
modernization | pleaſure | pleasure |
variation | tar‐ ryed |
tar ried |
modernization | 2dly | 2dly |
modernization | uneaſy | uneasy |
variation | a way | away |
variation | intemperace | intemperance |
modernization | theſe | these |
modernization | &c | etc. |
variation | tarryed | tarried |
modernization | Mr | Mr. |
variation | Eleazer | Eleazar |
Expanded abbreviations:
Abbreviation | Expansion |
---|---|
Doc..r | Doctor |
& | and |
Dor | Doctor |
Docr | Doctor |
Mar–d | married |
Doc.rs | Doctor's |
turn'd | turned |
Doc.r | Doctor |
pleaſ'd | pleased |
H | Hezekiah |
Hez: | Hezekiah |
This document's header does not contain any mixed case attribute values.
Summary of errors found in this document:
Number of dates with invalid 'when' attributes: | 0 |
Number of nested "hi" tags: (consider merging the @rend attributes, or using other tags) | 0 |
Number of tags with invalid 'rend' attributes: | 0 (out of 17) |
Number of people/places/organizations with unknown keys: | 0 (out of 8) |
Number of "add" tags with unknown 'place' attributes: | 0 (out of 7) |
Mixed case attribute values in header (potential error): | 0 (out of 95) |