abstract: Johnson writes a long and melancholy letter confessing his sins and failures, and asking forgiveness.
handwriting: Handwriting is small and somewhat uneven, but mostly clear and legible. The trailer is in an unknown hand.
paper: There are two separate sheets of paper: a large sheet folded in half to make four pages, and a large single sheet. The former is in good condition, with light staining, creasing and wear. The latter is also in good condition, but with more wear along the creases and some preservation work.
ink: Black-brown ink is slightly faded in spots.
Modernized Version -- deletions removed; additions added in; modern spelling and capitalization added; unfamiliar abbreviations expanded.
Rev. and Ever honoured Dr.
‐on in Writing to you; But this once more give me leave to
acquaint you my Once kind Benefactor, the Case I at pres‐
ent am in; But as I have So often been found deceitful,
I know not as you will have patience to Read over this
my pretended Confession, as I said, Seeing I have showed
So much Deceitfulness in my pretensions, and Undertak
ings, Since I have been Capable of being Improved
in some good way; But for Grant,— Which way, to Betake
myself — I know not, I am at a stand. honoured Sir; to retu‐
‐rn to you whom I have so greatly grieved, I dare not;
I am ashamed, and Conscience stings me to the very heart;
I am Sorry; my spirits cast down, Methinks, I feel in
Some measure the down Cast spirits of Cain when
he received his curse; but no Equal to his; though my —
Crimes are more than Equal, the thoughts of your
School haunts my mind daily, and to turn my face
that way I dare not, I see nothing but my Actions
in the deepest dye of Ingratitude stare me in the face
which Causes my heart to faint Under the thoughts
of Returning; but what Course to take, I know that
god is everywhere, and is Acquainted with Actions
past. and will punish without Mercy those that
Be disobedient to his Laws, and Commandment
ere long. — — —
glimpse of hope yet, Some way of Being Recovered from this
Unhappy State. though at other times all hopes Vanish
and leave me Under the Unfortunate Circumstances of a
Dissolute mind, which Roams at large with an Unsteady
temper. Once this Course of Life, at another that, but all
seem to yield no Comfort nor Satisfaction to My destitute
Condition. But this encourages me at this time to make
this feeble Attempt, that you are ready to forgive when you
see a true Real and hearty sorrow for their Misconduct.
But how can I make my sorrow Credible — which
none can Believe, but those that take Notice of me and
see it in my countenance which is Sad daily — upon
the thoughts of my past Behaviour. with how little
Consideration have I spent my past time little car‐
‐ing whether I did any good or no Either to myself or
anyone Else. this I am sensible that your kind dispositi
‐on towards the Indians is very Great. neither am
I less sensible that my ungrateful, and vicious Actions
deserve Gods, and your highest Displeasure: —
it seems that I am forced to try the best Endeavours
in order to get myself once more under your kind directi‐
‐on though I Undergo Ever so much that I Might at last at‐
‐tain my End; though you sentence me to Ever so severe pu
‐nishment, or Even Banish me to the Unknown corner of the
world. yet I Believe I will wholly Leave myself to your
entire disposal. had you punished me Ever so severe and after
‐wards, sent or Bound me to an austere man. I should not
have been so Uncomfortable — for then I should have been
in my duty but now seem to be lost no one to Order or di‐
‐rect me, but wholly trust to giddy chance of fate.
living (for both of these I have) or of enduring hardships (for I do
live well and Easy as Ever I did during my whole Life) that I
want to Return to you, but entirely Because I am not in
my duty or in the way that God requires
Good God seems to be yet lengthening out his mercy to
me, though I have so openly Rebelled against Him, and has
graciously guided my doubtful steps and has kept me
In good health, and not only that but has this once more
put me under an advantage of gaining Instruction.
Here I am Under the Roof of the servant of God, by whose
kind advice, admonition, and precaution, Restrained me
from seafaring way which if I pursued would beyond
all doubt been the Ruin of me both for time and Eternity.
here he has persuaded me to stay and given me the privilege
of his Library out of which this winter I hope to gain
Instruction. here I am Under great Advantage of getting
knowledge, though far Short of what I could get at your
house. where I was as it were daily Under the droopings
of the Sanctuary. what would I give Even all that I have
or all that my care or Industry would gain Could I Recall
these fatal hours which which I consumed in senseless
vanities for now they Increase and Urge my pain and
trouble my Rest, Rest I have none in my Mind. I
am daily vexed with myself for my wickedness I am
sensible that I have been guilty of the most heinous
Sins which has hurt and wounded the Redeemers Cause
and been of great disadvantage to your school and dis‐
grace to the Religion of Christ. although great part has
been by those who wished me well and had tender
Regards for me, Upon my promising a thorough
Reformation, has been Concealed. to my sorrow and
shame do I now Confess them, once, twice, yea three times
have I indulged myself in Brutish Ease whilst in the —
second on purpose perhaps can as well answer for that,
the Third and the Only one (Besides that of the last fall
which you have already had an Account of.) was taken
Notice of By the Indians which was Occasioned by the
temptation of the Devil and together with the Distresses of my
mind and Uneasiness which perhaps you are altogether Ign
‐norant of or anyone Else besides the Indians. which by the
advice of Thomas I publicly made Confession as is their
Custom. where they promised as it were to Bury in Oblivion
and let things be as if it never happened so. That of the last
fall I can say no more than has already been said of it.
These taken in Rank has been my misconduct and Ruin.
as well as in many other which are well known to you.
I am sensible but too late it is no advantage to Cover things, under
deceit, as to any more of my Crimes they have perhaps already
shown themselves or will ever long. — Thus have I in
few faint words tried to Communicate my Thoughts to
you, with hopes and raised Expectations of being favoured
with an Answer. though I do not deserve the least Notice or
Regards taken of what I write or say. yet this Once
grant that my mind may be at Ease in some measure
Either so much Condescend as to give me a word of encourage‐
ment. which will afresh Revive my Drooping spirits
and kindle a new flame of Gratitude in me, in which way
might kind heaven grant I might End my days.
But if on the other hand which I most justly deserve, that
you would turn a deaf Ear to my humble petition as I did
to your most kind Advices warnings, and Labours of love
for my own good and none Else the Returns of the same
is what I fear and justly Expect
a Bitter cry as Esau when he lost his Blessing. Then should I
in sadness spend the Remainder of my days, and would kind
Heaven grant, that I might be prepared to die; and then kind
‐ly put an End to my Miseries. honoured Sir; Should I say that
this was from the bottom of my Heart, perhaps like the Rest
would be full of Deceit, but I shall no longer trouble you with this
Unhappy Subject. I would just inform you that through the bound‐
‐less goodness of god I have Enjoyed my Unprofitable health, and
I hope that God has Indulged you with your health as Usual.
I am so guilty that I have no heart to write any more only
this whether I shall be so happy as to be Indulged with a word
of encouragement, or so Unhappy as to entirely be Excluded I humbly
Beg that you would Be so kind as to send me a word of Answer
Between this and the spring if you please So as I might be assured
one way or the other. pardon me if I have wrote anything that seem to
have an air of pride for I feel much otherwise disposed. These few
Lines with my best wishes for the prosperity of all your Vast Un
[gap: stain][guess: der]takings I humbly Recommend to your wise Consideration
and now suffer me the honour of subscribing myself
once humble servant though more the devils.
now living at providence
at Dr. Samuel Carrews an
Inn holder west side of the
Great Bridge. —
December 28. 1768
per favour of
Mr. [illegible][guess: ] salster]
Joseph Johnson was a Mohegan who studied at Moor’s Indian Charity School and became one of the most important organizers of the Brothertown Movement (a composite tribe composed of Christian members of seven Southern New England Algonquian settlements). He was a prolific writer and his papers are relatively well-preserved. Johnson’s writing is especially noteworthy for his skillful use of Biblical allusion and his awareness of the contradiction that he, as an educated Native American, presented to white colonists. Johnson arrived at Moor’s in 1758, when he was seven years old, and studied there until 1766, when he became David Fowler’s usher at Kanawalohale. He continued teaching in Oneida territory until the end of 1768, when Samuel Kirkland sent him home in disgrace for drunkeness and bad behavior. After a stint teaching at Providence, Rhode Island, and working on a whaling ship, Johnson returned to Mohegan in 1771 and became a zealous Christian. He opened a school at Farmington, CT, in 1772, for which he seems to have received some minimal support from the New England Company. From his base at Farmington, he began organizing Southern New England Algonquians for the Brothertown project. The goal was to purchase land from the Oneidas, the most Christianized of the Six Nations, and form a Christian Indian town incorporating Algonquian and Anglo-American elements. Johnson spent the rest of his short life garnering necessary support and legal clearance for the Brothertown project. Johnson died sometime between June 10, 1776 and May 1777, at 25 or 26 years old, six or seven years before Brothertown was definitively established in 1783. He was married to Tabitha Occom, one of Samson Occom’s daughters. She lived at Mohegan with their children even after Brothertown’s founding, and none of their children settled at Brothertown permanently. Like most of Wheelock’s successful Native American students, Johnson found that he could not satisfy his teacher's contradictory standards for Native Americans. Although Johnson's 1768 dismissal created a hiatus in their relationship, Johnson reopened contact with Wheelock after his re-conversion to a degree that other former students, such as Samson Occom, David Fowler, and Hezekiah Calvin, never did.
Eleazar Wheelock was a New Light Congregationalist minister who founded Dartmouth College. He was born into a very typical Congregationalist family, and began studying at Yale in 1729, where he fell in with the emerging New Light clique. The evangelical network that he built in college propelled him to fame as an itinerant minister during the First Great Awakening and gave him many of the contacts that he later drew on to support his charity school for Native Americans. Wheelock’s time as an itinerant minister indirectly brought about his charity school. When the Colony of Connecticut retroactively punished itinerant preaching in 1743, Wheelock was among those who lost his salary. Thus, in 1743, he began operating a grammar school to support himself. He was joined that December by Samson Occom, a Mohegan Indian, who sought out an education in hopes of becoming a teacher among his people. Occom’s academic success inspired Wheelock to train Native Americans as missionaries. To that end, he opened Moor’s Indian Charity School in 1754 (where he continued to train Anglo-American students who paid their own way as well as students who functionally indentured themselves to Wheelock as missionaries in exchange for an education). Between 1754 and 1769, when he relocated to New Hampshire, Wheelock trained approximately 60 male and female Native American students from nearby Algonquian tribes and from the Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) of central New York. At the same time, he navigated the complicated politics of missionary societies by setting up his own board of the Society in Scotland for Propagating Christian Knowledge, although he continued to feud with the Boston Board of the SSPCK and the London Commissioners in Boston (more colloquially called the New England Company). By the late 1760s, Wheelock had become disillusioned with the idea of Native American education. He was increasingly convinced that educating Native Americans was futile (several of his students had failed to conform to his confusing and contradictory standards), and, in late 1768, he lost his connection to the Haudenosaunee. With his inclination and ability to sponsor Native American missionaries largely depleted, Wheelock sought instead to fulfill his ultimate ambition of obtaining a charter and opening a college, which he did in 1769. To fund this new enterprise, Wheelock drew on the £12,000 that Samson Occom had raised for Moor’s Indian Charity School during a two-and-a-half year tour of Great Britain (1765 to 1768). Much of this money went towards clearing land and erecting buildings in New Hampshire for the Charity School’s relocation — infrastructure that also happened to benefit Dartmouth. Many of Wheelock’s contemporaries were outraged by what they saw as misuse of the money, as it was clear that Dartmouth College was not intended for Indians and that Moor’s had become a side project. Although Wheelock tried to maintain at least some commitment to Native American education by recruiting students from Canadian communities, the move did a great deal of damage to his public image. The last decade of Wheelock’s life was not easy. In addition to the problems of trying to set up a college far away from any Anglo-American urban center, Wheelock experienced the loss of relationships with two of his most famous and successful students, Samson Occom and Samuel Kirkland (an Anglo-American protégé). He also went into debt for Dartmouth College, especially after the fund raised in Britain was exhausted.
Thomas was an essential figure in Oneida Christianity and an important ally for Samuel Kirkland. While it is unclear when he converted to Christianity, by the 1750s he was preaching and leading services at Kanawalohale. By all accounts, he was a compelling speaker and talented at rendering Christian theology in terms compatible with Oneida cosmology. Thomas was instrumental in supporting Kirkland's mission: he often protected the Anglo-American missionary and helped him translate his ideas more effectively. Thomas also played an important role in the history of Moor's. His daughter, Hannah, was a student there, and in July 1768 he visited her. He returned the following January to pull her out of school following her mother's death, and he took the remaining five Oneida children with him. Later statements by Oneida chiefs (reported to Kirkland and David Avery) made clear that a large part of the Oneidas' reason for withdrawing their children was Wheelock's harsh discipline. Thomas was also present for Ralph Wheelock's 1768 outburst at Onaquaga, and was Avery's 1772 source for what had taken place there. Despite his disagreements with Wheelock, Thomas continued to support Kirkland's mission. Thomas was killed by British troops in 1779 while on a diplomatic visit to the Mohawks at Kahnawake (a site across the St. Lawrence River from Montreal). His murder gave the Oneidas yet another reason to side with the colonists during the Revolution.