Hezekiah Calvin, letter, to Eleazar Wheelock, 1768 January 29
Date29 January, 1768
Call Number768129
abstractCalvin confesses to drunkenness and going away without leave. He notes that he almost went to sea.
handwritingHandwriting is small and clear, with commas used in place of periods.
paperFour half sheets are folded like a book, with moderate wear, staining and creasing.
inkThere is some smudging and spattering of ink.
noteworthyIt is uncertain whether this is an original or a contemporary copy. Trailer is in another hand.
signatureSignature is abbreviated to “Hez, Calvin.”
layoutFirst page of letter is on two recto, not one recto. Pages follow normal sequence from there.
Modernized Version Deletions removed; additions added in; modern spelling and capitalization added; unfamiliar abbreviations expanded.
tude lays me under an indispen
sable Duty of thanking you for
all the Care and Pains you have
taken in my Education. —
Tis true I have been Guilty of
drunkeness, but be assured the
misfortune which occasioned me
to Depart so, was my being in
Liquor, or I never would have
done it, I came to myself when
or after I had got to Lebanon Plains,
And after I found myself I was
so ashamed of myself that I did
not want to show myself in the
School no more, But designed
fully in my Mind to follow the
Seas or go home, But I concluded
to follow the Seas, I went to
sea brook and there I found my
me a sloop going to Virginia and in-
tended to gone off with her, but as I
was considering what I had been
about, there came in my Mind
something as if I could not go,
before I had given thanks' to
the Doctor for my Education
and then Leave to Depart from
his School and presence, — And
then after this I concluded to
come Back and see Mr. Wheelock
before I could go with clear
Conscience etc. —
Tis true I have been Guilty of
drunkenness now twice and of
going away without Leave numberless
and it is with Shame I put pen to
Paper, after having so notoriously
abused your goodness and have
brought a scandalous reproach
upon the School by being
Scandalously Drawn aside with
Liquor, thus to abuse thee, and thy
school, for which I heartily beg
Pardon, promising double
diligence in watching against
any such evil Practices for the
future But having promised
so many times, I would not, that
you should any longer be deceiv-
ed — I am now returning from
my evil ways, to come home, and lay
myself on my bended knee, at
thy feet, that I may wholly
submit myself to the resent-
ment of a Master unjustly abused,
If the acknowledging my Crime,
can have any influence on
your goodness, I am sure of
success, I have incurred your
displeasure by my Ill Deed.
on the Eighteen Day of January
in the Year of our Lord 1768
A weakness in me that is always
attended with a hearty contrition
and therefore ashamed of that action
I leave the judgement of my
weakness to you all who are
present and am willing to suffer
the Judgment that ye will pass
upon me, having wholly
condemned myself already
worthy of great punishment
and then to be turned away from
the school with all the dis-
graces that can be. —
You know that our first
motions are so arbitrary in
their Violence, that in spite
of reason they will undergo
no Laws but their own
therefore I beg you would consider
that in the faults I have commit-
ted, there was more contributed
by Nature, than my own free will
But as all Mankind are subject
to failings, and none perfect I am
consequently liable to step aside
in Liquor and commit Errors
tis therefore I am heartily
Sorrow for being there drawn
aside from my reasons, but
laying myself low at the feet
of a just displeased Superior
imploring thy compassion
and acknowledging my fault
myself thine unworthy
Servant Hezekiah Calvin
January 29th 1768